Intergalactic Space Sex

  • shrek's kid: dad... i'm... i'm gay
  • shrek: well, better out than in, i always say, eh? heheheheh someBODY ONCE
Via Turn that frown upside down



frenchoverture:

Those two comments made my day.

(Source: haydnberg)


Via Ruined Childhood

missmella:

You guys I’m in Disney World and this afternoon my blood sugar dropped so low I got separated from my family and somehow bought an ice cream and then blacked out and woke up on a bench with chocolate sauce all over my arms and Mickey Mouse putting a cold towel on my head this truly is a magical place.

Via Turn that frown upside down

historydepartment:

sombrero91:

chrisanthomum:

abducido:

ALL MEN MUST CUM

"My hole remembers"

Gay porn is funny for this reason alone

omfg I’m dying

(Source: mendotcom)


Via ~*~~*~pop punk trash~*~~*~


hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride



(Source: davidurbanke)



queenoftheshucks:

chaoticbanter:

catsbeaversandducks:

Comic by ©The Oatmeal

I laugh, but it’s frighteningly true

I can’t stop laughing


Via pizza ✌


(Source: blackgirlsparadise)





ruinedchildhood:

is this seriously a picture of kel and his wife at their wedding with some fucking orange soda because i am sO FRICKIN DONE

(Source: kurokonoken)





thottie:

srslywhocares:

Let’s show up uninvited to a public place! #anarchy

2001 is sacred

(Source: suqmydiqtbh)


Via Ruined Childhood


(Source: humorstop)



(Source: licksluger)


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