Intergalactic Space Sex


lay1306:

desperatembrace:

purrityring:

unverified-reality:

This x-ray shows the case of an unfortunate woman who happened to have a snake crawl into her vagina, slither through the fallopian tube, and out oast the ovary into her body cavity. It survived unknown for three days until the snake started eating her appendix.

my anaconda dont

Can i just say—hoW DO YOU NOT NOTICE THAT??

probably tought it was just cramps

(Source: malformalady)




reblog this if you got kicked out of the theater for masturbating to all four shrek movies

(Source: dutchster)

Via Turn that frown upside down

codyaferg:

wow-suchbree-veryblog:

"If white people are so privileged why is there a Black Entertainment Network and no White Entertainment Network?"

"Men don’t have privilege, there are women’s only gyms!"

"Why isn’t there a campus centre for straight/cis people!?"

SAME REASONS WHY IN MARIO KART YOU DON’T GET BLUE SHELLS OR LIGHTNING BOLTS WHEN YOU’RE ALREADY IN FIRST PLACE, ASSBAG.

This is honestly the best explanation I have ever seen.

Via Crocs + Socks

no-this-is-jarod:

public school dress code





humoristics:

#Friendzonedagain


  • shrek's kid: dad... i'm... i'm gay
  • shrek: well, better out than in, i always say, eh? heheheheh someBODY ONCE
Via Turn that frown upside down



frenchoverture:

Those two comments made my day.

(Source: haydnberg)


Via Ruined Childhood

missmella:

You guys I’m in Disney World and this afternoon my blood sugar dropped so low I got separated from my family and somehow bought an ice cream and then blacked out and woke up on a bench with chocolate sauce all over my arms and Mickey Mouse putting a cold towel on my head this truly is a magical place.

Via Turn that frown upside down

historydepartment:

sombrero91:

chrisanthomum:

abducido:

ALL MEN MUST CUM

"My hole remembers"

Gay porn is funny for this reason alone

omfg I’m dying

(Source: mendotcom)


Via wannabe punk trash


hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride



(Source: davidurbanke)



queenoftheshucks:

chaoticbanter:

catsbeaversandducks:

Comic by ©The Oatmeal

I laugh, but it’s frighteningly true

I can’t stop laughing


Via pizza ✌

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